I know what it’s like to be hated. I know the fear of being in the way of a menace, of being aware that my time is almost up. It’s an impending feeling; a close-hanging, rancid, dripping terror. That precious thing, a child, can be held angrily and purposefully in front of you while the courts and psychologists tie your hands as if you will only make things worse. The urge to fight and the instinct to salvage what is still good becomes your trap. You take the form of your worst self, manipulated and puppeted until you feel wrongly placed in your skin. You move because someone else moves you and are condemned because of your movements – set up and castrated.
I thought I knew what I was getting myself into when I asked my girlfriend to marry me. She was scared and pregnant. She was also mentally ill. Functional, but warped. I was young and inexperienced and easily became her patsy. I was far from perfect, but now can say I did the best I could in the face of extreme duress.
Most importantly, I learned a secret and I am about to share it with the world.